General Socialist Motors to Begin Rolling Down the (Dis)Assembly Line

I didn’t want to believe it. I was so in denial. Really, it can’t happen. Can it?

Automakers, Obama announce mileage, pollution plan

WASHINGTON – President Barack Obama wants drivers to go farther on a gallon of gas and cause less damage to the environment — and be willing to pick up the tab.

Oh wow cool! Barack Obama is willing to pay the tab. What’s that you say? I read that wrong? Hmm…oh I see now. We the people peons are supposed to be “willing to pick up the tab.” Isn’t that an oxymoron. A person can’t be forced to be willing to do something. Oh that’s right we are mere serfs and peons. Forcing a person to be willing to pay for Barack’s emission standard is like if your cheapass attorney of an uncle invited you and your poor working class parents to some sort of restaurant that starts with Chez La (insert fancy French name here). You’ve drank all the fancy champagne, ate the ascar…oh whatever slimy snails, crepee keesh thingies, foiled goose and frambe. Well now you are all full. Guess what? Cheapass deep pocket uncle tells you and/or your parents that you have to be willing to pick up the tab. No, being willing to pick up the tab would be after cheapskate uncle invites you to dinner tell him that Chez wherever is rather expensive, and you don’t want uncle cheapskate to spend so much of his money. So how about going to Chiles or one of them places by the mall. And at the end of the dinner, wherever you end up going, you tell unkees that out of the goodness of your heart you choose to be willing to help pay the tab.

Oh, ya want more of the actual article. OK, here ya go.

Obama on Tuesday planned to announce the first-ever national emissions limits for cars and trucks, as well as require a 35.5 miles per gallon standard. Consumers should expect to pay an extra $1,300 per vehicle by the time the plan is complete in 2016, officials said.

The administration officials spoke on the condition of anonymity ahead of the formal announcement by Obama.

Yeah, this administration official probably spoke on “condition of anonymity” due to he was afraid of being stretched on the rack.

The plan also would effectively end a feud between automakers and statehouses over emission standards — with the states coming out on top but the automakers getting the single national standard they’ve been seeking and more time to make the changes.

I was unaware that automakers were desiring forced standards of any shape or size. Note to self, pay more attention.

Let’s skip the rest of the numeral mumbo jumbo and end with this;

Auto executives, including General Motors Corp. CEO Fritz Henderson, and executives from Ford Motor Co., Toyota Motor Corp., Honda Motor Co., Daimler AG and others planned to attend the White House event. United Auto Workers President Ron Gettelfinger also planned to attend, as did Michigan Gov. Jennifer Granholm and California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger.

more here